G     - 320001
C/G   - 332010
C     - x32010
Cmaj7 - x2001x
Am    - x02210
Bdim7 - x2313x
D7    - x00212
Em    - 022000
B7    - x21202


[Intro]

G - C/G - G - C/G


[Verse 1]

             G                             C  Cmaj7     Am
Oh, I just love the kind of woman who can walk over a man
               C       Cmaj7      Am
I mean like a god damn marching band
                 Bdim7     C          Cmaj7    Am
She says, like literally, music is the air she breathes
                   D7                   Em
And the malaprops make me want to fucking scream
                  D7                        Em
I wonder if she even knows what that word means
           B7         Em
Well, it's literally not that


[Instrumental]

G - C/G - G - C/G


[Verse 2]

                  G                                 C     Cmaj7     Am
Of the few main things I hate about her, one's her petty, vogue ideas
                                C           Cmaj7         Am
Someone's been told too many times they're beyond their years
         Bdim7              C        Cmaj7     Am
By every half-wit of distinction she keeps around
          D7                Em
And now every insufferable convo
               D7                   Em
Features her patiently explaining the cosmos
          B7            Em
Of which she's in the middle


[Chorus]

 C/G    D7                       Am
Oh my God, I swear this never happens
C/G     D7                           Am
Lately, I can't stop the wheels from spinning
   C/G        Am
I feel so unconvincing
       C/G          Am           D
When I fumble with your buttons


[Instrumental]

G - C/G - G - C/G


[Verse 3]

                 G                                 C     Cmaj7     Am
She blames her excess on my influence but gladly Hoovers all my drugs
                             C        Cmaj7    Am
I found her naked with the best friend in the tub
          Bdim7              C        Cmaj7     Am
We sang "Silent Night" in three parts which was fun
                         D7                  Em
'Til she said that she sounds just like Sarah Vaughan
                         D7                    Em
I hate that soulful affectation white girls put on
               B7          Em
Why don't you move to the Delta?


[Outro]

     C/G                     B7           C/G
I obliged later on when you begged me to choke ya