Dm
I used to be the first to laugh

When Mrs. Jennings took a bath
                                 E
And left the window open for the neighbors
    Em
But had we looked, we might have seen
                    
That she was really very clean
    E                           F#     B
And given her the credit of her labors

[Chorus]
        E
And Mr. Jennings, where was he?
             A
The man that we had asked to see
    E                                B
And who were we to think that it was funny
            E                                    A
When as she raised her glass she said she wasn't sure
                     B                                E
He might be dead, or somewhere making love to all his money

[Verse 2]
    Dm
She held her breath expectantly

While everybody stared at me
                                   E
As I approached to greet Miss Mary Blooming (hello)
  Em
I tweaked her nose and kissed the tip

I wiped the powder from my lip
    E                               F#     B
And just because I did, it left her fuming

[Chorus]
         E                             A
I almost gave myself away when Captain Graves came up to say...
E                              B
Glad to see me home and he was tickled
            E                            A
And now I'm sure I had excused the way I used to be abused
B                              E
It was worth it all to see him tickled

Ha ha ha! He he he! Ooh!

[Verse 3]
Dm
The atmosphere was getting thick, the guy beside me looking sick
                                              E
I would've helped, at least I thought I ought to
   Em
He flashed me an appearing grin, I stopped and took the feeling in
  E                                  F#     B
I wasn't sure, but something told me not to

[Chorus]
         E                                  A
I knew I couldn't take much more, I started making for the door
    E                              B
And as I passed my date, I let her kiss me
             E
I grabbed my coat and stepped outside
           A
I stuck my thumb out for a ride
  B                                E
Departing knowing they would never miss me