FC
I have an apology to make,
Dm
I'm afraid I've made a big mistake,
Cadd4C
I turned my face away from You, Lord.
FC
I was too blind to see the light,
Dm
I was too weak to feel your might,
Cadd4C
I closed my eyes, I couldn't see the truth, Lord.
EAm
But then like Saul on the Damascus road,
EAm
You sent a messenger to me, and so,
F
I have had the truth revealed to me,
Em
Please forgive me all those things I said,
F
I'll no longer betray you, Lord,
G
I will pray to you instead.
BbFC
And I will say thank you, thank you, thank you God.
BbFC
Thank you, thank you, thank you God.
CG
Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.
I had no idea but it's suddenly so clear,
CC7
Now I feel such a cynic how could I have been so dumb?
F
Thank you for displaying how praying works,
C
A particular prayer in a particular church,
DG
Thank you Sam, for the chance to acknowledge this omnipotent ophthalmologist.
CG
Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.
I didn't realise that it was so simple,
CC7
But you've shown a great example of just how it can be done,
F
You only need to pray in a particular spot,
C
To a particular version of a particular god,
D
And if you pull that off without a hitch,
G
He will fix one eye of one middle-class white bitch.
AmFdim7
I know in the past my outlook has been limited,
AmFdim7
I couldn't see examples of where life had been divinitive,
FC
But I can admit it when the evidence is clear,
DG
As clear as Sam's mum's new cornea.
That's extremely clear!
Extremely clear!
CG
Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.
I have to admit that in the past I have been skeptical,
CC7
But Sam described this miracle and I am overcome.
F
How fitting that the sighting of a sight-based intervention,
C
Should open my eyes to this exciting new dimension.
D
It's like someone put an eye chart on the wall in front of me,
G
And the top five letters say I-C-G-O-D.
CG
Thank you Sam, for showing how my point of view has been so flawed.
I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that's cynical,
CC7
It's simply that His interests aren't particularly broad.
F
He's largely undiverted by the starving masses,
C
Or the inequality between the various classes.
D
He gives out strictly limited passes,
G
Redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses.
AmFdim7
I feel so shocking for historically mocking.
AmFdim7
No, your interests are clearly confined to the ocular.
FC
I bet given the chance you'd eschew the divine,
DG
And start a little business selling contacts online.
CG
Fuck me Sam, what are the odds that of history's endless parade of gods,
CC7
That the god that you just happen to be taught to believe in is the actual one and he
digs on healing,
FC
But not the AIDS-ridden African nations, or the victims of the plague, or the
flood-addled Asians,
DG
But healthy, privately-insured Australians, with common and curable corneal degeneration?
AmFdim7
This story of Sam's has but a single explanation:
AmFdim7
A surgical god who digs on magic operations.
AmFdim7
No it couldn't be mistaken attribution of causation,
AmFdim7
Born of a coincidental temporal correlation,
AmFdim7
Exacerbated by a general lack of education,
AmFdim7
Vis-a-vis physics in Sam's parish congregation.
FC
And it couldn't be that all these pious people are liars.
FC
It couldn't be an artifact of confirmation bias.
F
A product of group-think,
Cdim7
A mass delusion,
GFdim7
An Emperor's-New-Clothes-style fear of exclusion.
AmFdim7
No it's more likely to be an all-powerful magician,
AmFdim7
Than the misdiagnosis of the initial condition,
AmFdim7
Or one of many cases of spontaneous remission,
AmFdim7
Or a record-keeping glitch by the local physician.
FC
No, the only explanation for Sam's mum seeing:
FC
They prayed to an all-knowing super-being.
FCdim7
To the omnipresent master of the universe,
GFdim7
And he liked the sound of their muttered verse.
AmG
So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt,
FEm
Of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt,
FEm
He popped down to Dandenong and just like that,
FCdim7
Used his powers to heal the cataracts,
GAb
Of Sam's mum.
A
Of Sam's mum.
-KEY CHANGE-
DA
Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.
I didn't realise that it was such a simple thing.
D
I feel such a ding-a-ling, what an ignorant scum.
G
Now I understand how prayer can work,
D
A particular prayer in a particular church,
G
In a particular style, with the particular stuff,
D
And for particular problems that aren't particularly tough,
G
And for particular people, preferably white,
D
And for particular senses, preferably sight,
G
A particular prayer in a particular spot,
Fdim7
To a particular version of a particular god.
A
And if you get that right, he just might,
G
Take a break from giving babies malaria,
D
And pop down to your local area,
EAD
To fix the cataracts of your mum.
AD
Hallelujah!