D  C#m  Bm  C#m
D  C#m  Bm  
D  C#m  Bm  C#m
D  C#m  E  

[Verse 1]
        D           C#m    Bm             C#m
Uh well, I touched down en route to my connection
D              C#m        Bm          A
  A man in the gift shop called me a fag
D        C#m     Bm          C#m
  I feel like my tucked-up erection
D           C#m          E     
  There's a pressure all over my head
D       C#m             Bm        C#m  
  And I know this is how I get paid, but
D           C#m           Bm  
  It's not really how I wanna get laid, so
D         C#m          Bm         C#m
  Hundred forty when I last got weighed
        D           C#m      Bm    C#m
And I'm gonna lose more by Saturday


[Chorus]
            Bm7
And they're playing your song on the radio station
C#m                  E
Mugging me off all across the nation
Bm7
If you don't eat then you'll never grow
   D                                E
I should've learned that quite a while ago
  Bm7
I know it gets hard sometimes
D                           E
Making out with people that you don't like
   Bm7
I know you don't feel alright
         D                E
But you look just fine to me


[Verse 2]
        D      C#m           Bm7         C#m
Well, I pissed myself on the Texan intersection
     D                          Bm7      A
With George spilling things all over his bag
       D            C#m          Bm7         C#m
And I took shit for being quiet during the election
D             C#m          E
Maybe that's fair, but I'm   a busy guy
 D     C#m           Bm7        C#m       
I get stoned and go where I get paid, but
D           C#m       Bm7        A     
  It's not really how babies get made, so
D             C#m             Bm7         C#m 
  I'll take a minute when I think I won't die
      D       C#m            C#m     A
from stopping, oh, I'm just a   busy  guy



[Chorus]
            Bm7
And they're playing your song on the radio station
C#m                  E
Mugging me off all across the nation
Bm7
If you don't eat then you'll never grow
   D                                E
I should've learned that quite a while ago
  Bm7
I know it gets hard sometimes
D                           E
Making out with people that you don't like
   Bm7
I know you don't feel alright
         D                E
But you look just fine to me


[Bridge]
F#m G#m A E D   E                    F#m G#m A E D 
You,             I've been waiting for you
    E                       F#m G#m A E D 
My whole life, waiting for you
E                       F#m G#m A E D 
  I've been waiting for you


[Outro]
           D          C#m              Bm7        C#m
Well, I'm gonna get a condom, but it's for her protection
     D         C#m      Bm7          A
And maybe I'll get some fun for the night
D  C#m  Bm7 C#m
D  C#m  Bm7 E