Am                Am                Am              Am
There was a thickset man with frog eyes who was standing at the door
      G                    G                 G              G
And a little bald man with wing nut ears was waiting in the car
      F                       G                   D               G
Well, Robert Moore passed the frog-eyed man as he walked into the bar
             Am         Am               Am    Am
And Betty Coltrane, she jumped under her table


[Verse 2]
             Am                    Am               Am               Am
"What's your pleasure?", asked the barman, he had a face like boiled meat
           G                 G             G              G
"There's a girl called Betty Coltrane that I have come to see"
       F               G                    D           G
"But I ain't seen that girl 'round here for more than a week"
             Am             Am              Am    Am
And Betty Coltrane, she had hid beneath the table


[Verse 3]
           Am        Am                   Am              Am
Well, then in came a sailor with mermaids tattooed on his arms
         G                   G                     G              G
Followed by the man with the wing nut ears who was waitin' in the car
      F                   G                     D            G
Well, Robert Moore sensed trouble, he'd seen it comin' from afar
             Am         Am                 Am    Am
And Betty Coltrane, she gasped beneath the table


[Verse 4]
             Am                Am                        Am                Am
Ah well, the sailor said, "I'm looking for my wife, they call her Betty Coltrane"
        G                    G                     G                G
And the frog-eyed man said, "That can't be, that's my wife's maiden name"
        F                     G                  D                   G
And the man with the wing nut ears said, "Hey, I married her back in Spain"
             Am               Am               Am    Am
And Betty Coltrane crossed herself beneath the table


[Verse 5]
      Am                   Am                 Am          Am
Well, Robert Moore stepped up and said, "That woman is my wife"
       G             G            G            G
And he drew a silver pistol and a wicked bowie knife
       F                     G             D                    G
And he shot the man with the wing nut ears straight between the eyes
             Am         Am               Am    Am
And Betty Coltrane, she moaned under the table


[Verse 6]
             Am                      Am               Am                 Am
Ah well, the frog-eyed man jumped at Robert Moore who stabbed him in the chest
       G             G                                G                 G
And as Mr. Frog-Eyes died he said, "Betty, you're the girl that I loved best"
         F               G             D             G
Then the sailor pulled a razor, Robert blasted it to bits
         Am                 Am        Am     Am
"And Bettyyy, I know you're under the table"


[Verse 7]
       Am                  Am               Am           Am
"Well, have no fear," said Robert Moore, "I do not wanna hurt you"
 G             G             G               G
"Never a woman did I love me half as much as you"
            F                G                  D              G
"You're the blessed sun, the meek girl, and you are the sacred moon"
          Am               Am                 Am    Am
And Betty    shot his legs out from under the table


[Verse 8]
      Am                Am                Am             Am
Well, Robert Moore went down heavy with a crash upon the floor
    G                     G           G                 G
And over to his thrashin' body, Betty Coltrane, she did crawl
    F                  G                    D                       G
She put the gun to the back of his head and pulled the trigger once more
             Am             Am       Am    Am
And blew his brains out all over the table


[Verse 9]
      Am                 Am                 Am               Am
Well, Betty stood up and shook her head and waved the smoke away
           G          G          G                     G
Said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Barman, to leave your place this way"
       F                 G                          D                 G
As she emptied out their wallets she said, "I'll collect my severance pay"
         Am                 Am            Am    Am
Then she winked and threw a dollar on the table