D            A          G            Em
This is hell, this is hell, I am  ...sorry to tell you,
    D              A          G      (G) (G/F#) (G/E)
It ...never gets better, or worse,
D                   A          G           Em7
   But you'll get used to it,     after a spell,
      D        A           Cadd9
For heaven is hell in re - verse!


       G
The bruiser spun a hula -  hoop
                D
While all the barmen preen and pout,
      G                               D
The neon "I" of "night club" flickers on and off,
                  C
And finally blew out,
                      Am                             C
The irritating jingle of the belly-dancing phoney Turkish girls,
                    Am
The eerie glare of ultra - violet perfect dental work!


D                          A          G            Em
    This is hell, this is hell, I am  ...sorry to tell you,
    D               A        G                     Em7
It ...never gets better or worse! (It never gets better or worse!)
D                  A           G           Em7
   But you'll get used to it,     after a spell,
      D        A           Cadd9
For heaven is hell in re - verse!


      G
The failed Don Juan, in the big bow-tie,
          D
Is very sorry that he spoke,
     G
For he's mislaid his punch-line,
           D                                  C
More than half- way through a very tasteless joke,
                                 Am
The Fräulein caught him peeking down her gown,
                     C
He's yelling in her ear,
                            Am
And all at once the music stopped,
                         A           A7
As he was intimately bellowing, "My dear...


            D              A         G           Em
...This is hell, this is hell, I am ...sorry to tell you,
      D         A         G                    Em7
It never gets better or worse, (It never gets better or worse!)
D                  A          G            Em
   But you'll get used to it,     after a spell,
      D        A           Cadd9
For heaven is hell in re - verse!


     Dm                    G
The shirt you wore with courage,
          C      Em    F
And the violent nylon suit,
        Dm             G
Reap - pear upon your back,
             C                 F
And under - mine the polished line you try to shoot,
Dm                 G               C
    It's not the torment of the flames,
       Em      F                      D
That finally seize your flesh cor - rupted,
                                                   G
It's the small humiliations that your memory piles up, 
                          Em7                           D
(This is  hell!) This is hell, (This is hell!) this is hell! (Hell!)


        G                              D
'My favourite things' are playing a - gain, and again,
      G                         D
But it's by Julie Andrews, and not by John Coltrane,
   G                        D
Endless balmy breezes in perfect sunsets framed,
   G                              D                                 C
Vintage wine for breakfast, and naked starlets floating in Cham - pagne
                          Am                             C
                              Am
You may think it looks fa - miliar,
       Am7             A           A7
Though you may know it by another name...


            D               A        G           Em
...This is hell, this is hell, I am ...sorry to tell you,
      D         A         G                    Em7
It never gets better or worse, (It never gets better or worse!)
D                  A          G            Em
   But you'll get used to it,     after a spell,
      D        A           Cadd9                              D
For heaven is hell in re - verse, (This is hell!)  This hell!