F#m E F#m E F#m E F#m E [Verse 1] F#m A Shakespeare’s got a mail order Uzi Bm C# F#m Shakespeare’s got a gun; he’s gonna use it F#m A Shakespeare’s got a prostitute names Suzie Bm C# F#m Shakespeare’s got a gun; he’s gonna use it A Bm It seems some monkey just outside of Pittsburgh D C# Finally typed out Hamlet; typed out Hamlet word for word F#m A Bm D Shakespeare’s pissed off; Shakespeare’s got an Uzi Bm C# F#m Shakespeare’s got a gun; he’s gonna use it [Interlude] F#m E F#m E F#m E [Verse 2] F#m A Shakespeare’s got a Fender Stratocaster Bm C# F#m He’s got that sucker cranked; he’s gonna blast her F#m A Led Zeppelin was never any faster Bm C# F#m Shakespeare’s got a Fender Stratocaster A Bm He’s dressed in black; He’s got a Marshall stack D C# He dances with baboons who jump up on his back F#m A Bm D Aww Love’s Labor’s Lost; that’s in the past F#m Shakespeare’s got a Fender Stratocaster [Interlude] F#m E F#m E F#m E [Bridge] A Bm Shakespeare’s got no use for thick black glasses D C# Who sit and dissect tragedies in college English classes A Bm Shakespeare’s sick of words; Shakespeare’s sick of letters D C# Shakespeare watches videos the dirtier the better [Verse 3] F#m A Shakespeare’s got a liquor store in Anaheim Bm C# F#m Shakespeare combs his hair with soup spoon F#m A Shakespeare drinks tequila out of styrofoam Bm C# F#m Shakespeare’s got a liquor store in Anaheim A Bm He sells magazines; he eats cigarettes D C# He never says a word; he sleeps in a Corvette F#m A Bm Aww Shakespeare’s got a gun; Shakespeare’s got an Uzi Bm D Shakespeare’s got a guitar; says he’s gonna use it F#m A Bm Shakespeare’s got a gun and liquor store in Anaheim F#m C# F#m Shakespeare’s got a gun; he’s gonna use it