D                             C                G
There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy
D                        C           G
He lived in a cage the size of his thumb
D                                  C          G
And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks
D                                C        G
He galloped around until he was hit by a car


-- Verse II --

D                    C              G
Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird
D                     C           G
Just to remind myself I'll never fly
D                    C              G
Sometimes I burn my arms with a cigarette
D                        C             G
Just to pretend I won't scream when I die


-- Chorus --

      C                       G
If my life was as long as the moon's
     C                      G
I'd still be jealous of the sun
       C                   G
If my life lasted only one day 
    Am        C        G
I'd still be drunk by noon
         Am        C        G
Yes I'd still be drunk by noon


*Whistling Verse*


-- Verse III --

D                   C              G
Sometimes I hope I come down with cancer
D                                                C      G
At least then I'll get to stay in bed and watch TV all day
D                        C              G 
And on my deathbed I'll get all the answers 
D                             C      G
Even if all my questions are taken away