Nazi's and Morris dancers
Cookery and home improvement shows
All mysteries to me
All mysteries to me
Oh yeah

Gymnasiums amaze me
And building schemes confuse you
Riverdance, new romance
Plenty much amusement
These modern mysteries
Are just not my cup of cha

Surely we all agree, one thing unites us all
Stand up and be counted
You know who you are
You know who you are

We all love Columbo x4
All love Columbo
We all love Columbo x4