Where is she when the little thing cries?
She lies in a bed with a friend of mine
But some nights she'll run back in fright
If she picks on a dick that's too big for her pride

Oh, oh, why did I ever go marry her?
I was a child!
I'm holding the baby
She's ran-tanning constantly
She saw me coming for miles
She saw me open wide

Four o'clock and her key's in the lock
And she's been on the wink and she's stinking of drink
Wakes the kid so I put him to sleep
And she's in there all night doubled over the sink

Oh, oh, why did I ever go marry her?
I was a child!
I'm holding the baby
She's ran-tanning constantly
She saw me coming for miles
She saw me open wide
She saw me coming for miles

Open wide
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide
Open wide