I was found in a white chapel Playing chess with the Elephant Man And delivered by a midwife In the shell of a giant clam My best friends were a sewer rat And a city fox At the age of ten I developed a yen for Dismantling clocks I biked in whistling from the East Wearing an open mind Wondering about my future And the treasures I would find But some trendy cat from Chelsea Looked at me in fright Said I needed elocution I chewed my tongue all night So meet me by the old bridge When the sun is getting low There's a new gambling game They call the Lemming Show I've got two tickets front row seats For the river side We can take a picnic And watch the suicides Well I pulled up by the kerb And parked my bicycle In the snow was a red faced man Selling icicles I asked why coals to Newcastle He said demand and supply I said I didn't see the point in that Then he poked me in the eye Then I came across a theatre queue Waiting to get in To see Unemployment Benefit By a writer with a pseudonym So I played them a tune By the light of the moon And then held out my hat But all I got was a pile of bills All Including VAT So meet me by the old bridge When the sun is getting low There's a new gambling game They call the Lemming Show I've got two tickets front row seats For the river side We can take a picnic And watch the suicides So I had a dance with my shadow But I don't think he was impressed His legs and arms were twenty foot long And he was badly dressed It was then the howling squad car Pulled up by my side And two laughing policemen in one coat Asked me to take a ride They arrested me for Indocency As I was dancing a jig And took me in for chemistry As a guinea pig They dragged me into the back room And injected a disease But when I showed no symptoms They offered me some cheese So meet me by the old bridge When the sun is getting low There's a new gambling game They call the Lemming Show I've got two tickets front row seats For the river side We can take a picnic And watch the suicides The doctor said see here boy We know you're anti-state But give us some of those anti-bodies And we'll secure your fate So I made a deal all signed and sealed And waited for my pay While the private eye cured the town And made a kill that day I saw Big Doc's rise to fame On the T. V. in the lounge And I said to the nurse That takes the biscuit Is there some tea that I can scrounge But she kicked me out on the street With only two pints of blood So I played my pipe to my friends the rats And the city began to flood So meet me by the old bridge When the sun is getting low There's a new gambling game They call the Lemming Show I've got two tickets front row seats For the river side We can take a picnic And watch the suicides