I was born with a dick in my brain, yeah, fucked in the head My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed Till one night he snuck in and said We're going out back, I want my dick sucked in the shed Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxpin instead? After I fuck you in the butt, get some head Bust a nut, get some rest The next day my mother said: I don't know what the fuck's up with this kid! The bastard won't even eat nothing, he's fed? He just hung himself in the bedroom, he's dead? Debbie don't let that fucker get you upset Go in there, stick a fuckin' cigarette to his neck I bet you he's faking it, I bet you I bet he probably just want to see how upset you would get I'll go handle this, of course, unless you object Ah, go fuck his brains out, if any is left in his head If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? No! He's insane! If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? No! He's insane! Did you get him? Nah, fucker tried to bite my face off I just got fuckin' chased off with a chainsaw Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fuckin' blades off Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong Then he played ping pong with his own ding-dong That motherfucker's got nuts like King Kong Then he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawn And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on Then he took his pants, he took every fuckin' thing off Everything, except his tank top and his training bra Ain't he raw? Yeah, maniac, that's Shady dog Man that motherfucker's gangsta, ain't he dog Shady dog, what be going through that fucking brain of yours? Say no more, what the fuck you waiting for, sing along If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? No! He's insane! If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? No! He's insane! Don't you know what felch means? (Yeah), well then tell me Would you rather get felched or do the felching Fuck him in the ass, suck the cum out while you're belching Burp, Belch, then go back for a second helping Can you dig what I'm sayin' man, can you smell me? I want you to feel me like my stepfather felt me Fuck a little puppy, kick the puppy while he's yelping Shady what the fuck you saying? I don't know help me! What the fuck's happening, I think I'm fucking melting Marshall I just love you boy, I care about your well-being No Dad, I said no, I don't need no help peeing I'm a big boy, I can do it by myself see I only get naked when the babysitter tells me She showed me a movie like Nightmare on Elm Street But it was X, and they called it Pubic Hair on Chelsea Well this is called ass rape, and we're shooting the jail scene If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? No! He's insane! If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I've completely lost it Is he nuts? No! He's insane!