Have you heard about the latest craze That's sweepin' across the nation All the punks from coast to coast Have discovered an old invention: "Your hair's too long Man, you're a queer You're too new wave Put down that beer:" and Do the Slag-Look at 'em run Do the Slag-Hey you scum Do the Slag-Ain't it fun Do the Slag-Let's all be dumb Badmouth people we don't know Make sure it's behind their backs Don't let new people in our scene It's more fun than having a friend We'll slag everyone each and every night So we can pretend that we're all right Make those pricks feel just so small We'll show the world that we're three feet tall Slander their integrity Doubt their humanity Talk about their haircuts Are their politics correct? Do the Slag! Don't let those sissies on the floor They're unhip, man, they bought the wrong clothes Let's all do the latest craze 'Cause having allies never pays We'll slag everyone each and every night So we can pretend that we're all right Make those pricks feel just so small We'll show the world that we're three feet tall