Santa, where's your old red suit Santa, where's your beard Santa where did your belly go? This sure is getting weird Why do you have the diamond stud Shining in your nose Why did you go and get so buffed Wearin' designer clothes It's just not right It's breakin' nature's laws Nobody wants a tripped-out, trendy, flipped-out Funky Santa What a sight to see Lookin' fine at Christmas time And funky as he wants to be Santa where's your reindeer gone Why you drivin' that SUV Is there something wrong with you Or is there something wrong with me I know you've got to express yourself You've got the right to change But a Santa with his hair dyed black Tell me that ain't strange It's just not right It's breakin' nature's laws Nobody wants A freaky, trashy, flashy, funky Santa What a sight to see Lookin' fine at Christmas time And funky as he wants to be But Santa he just smiles and says Wait a minute please There's just one man who puts the presents Underneath the trees So make your list, I'll check it twice, like I always do I'm still the same old man inside, but outside I'm keepin' it new It's just not right It's breakin' nature's law Nobody wants A punked-out, in-crowd, pop star, funky Santa What a sight to see Lookin' fine at Christmas time As funky as he wants to be